Depression has many aspects. From the standpoint of behavior depression is giving up. There are many reasons why we give up. We might give up because we are overwhelmed with the tasks and the responsibilities that we face. We might give up because we no longer have the support that we once had to face our tasks and responsibilities. We might give up because we are faced with an obstacle which we feel we cannot overcome. We might give up because we do not feel we have the wherewithal to deal with life.
Whatever the reason, we are depressed, on a behavioral level, to the degree that we give up in some area or areas of our life.
The latter statement implies and it is true that we have different levels or degrees of depression. We are depressed to the degree that we give up. If we give up a little, such as is evident when we slow down in our performance of duties and responsibilities, we will be depressed a little. When we give up in many areas of life, we may experience a major depression.
Of course with the behavioral reality of giving up, there is an emotional component to depression. This seems like the most difficult aspect of depression. It is the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is the feeling of hopelessness. It is the feeling of giving up and resignation.
We can change our feelings when we alter our behavior. If we can begin again, there is hope of overcoming one's depression.
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- drmcevoy
- Dr. McEvoy is a behavioral health specialist. He provides two professional services: seminars and group facilitation on subjects related to human behavior and psychotherapy. He treats adults with emotional disorders (various forms of anxiety and depression) and with relationship dysfunction. His practice is based in Clifton Park, New York. For additional information see his website: www.adulthumanbehavior.com
10 comments:
What a wonderful web site. Thank you for devoting so much of your time and yourself to helping others.
I enjoyed your discussion on depression and work. It is amazing how you can "feel like a million bucks", just by accomplishing one task.
It is a feeling of empowerment and a sense of hope. That may sound silly , but on a certain level, it does give us hope in moving on to the next task.
Yet, when we are depressed , this sense of empowerment and/or hope is difficult to grasp.
Response to bfr
What you say about the feeling of empowerment from the accomplishment of one task is true. I think the transient nature of our sense of empowerment is related to the transient nature of the basis of confidence. In other words, we might accomplish a task and feel good but then that task is done and we need something else or more. I suspect for a more enduring sense of empowerment we would need to find a more enduring basis for that empowerment or hope.
In response to janet10
Thank you for your kind words.
The only empowerment that lasts is through our Faith.
No one loves us more than God.
He is the motivation, the empowerment to the next task.
He gives us gifts beyond measure and hope beyond comprehension.
DEPRESSION IS GIVING UP. AND I HAVE GIVEN UP ON MY FAITH. I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF A FAITHFUL PERSON. GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME TO COUNT ON. UNTIL RECENTLY. I WANT TO BE THAT PERSON AGAIN, BUT AFTER THE YEAR IVE HAD I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET BACK THERE. WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET THAT BACK AFTER YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES? AND YOU FEEL ABANDONED BY GOD!
Response to bfr (March 4 blog)
Your response is very interesting from the standpoint of human behavior. If I understand you correctly you are saying that to complete a task (depression and work article) is good. But you also seem to be saying that to perform a task in faith is better. I assume that you mean that whenever you perform a task, you look to God to enable you to perform the task. If this was true then performing tasks would lead to development of your faith in God.
Of course not everyone believes and I would guess that those who do not believe would say that to perform tasks would lead to development of greater self confidence.
Either way, it is important to avoid quitting if we hope to overcome our depression. It is important to avoid giving up.
Response to anonymous
I admire your insight into depression which is evident in your first statement that depression is giving up.
I have always told my patients that our giving up behavior is not only insidious but ubiquitous. It can affect any area of our life and every area of life. We can slow down and avoid and give up on our work. We can quit our diet. We can stop exercising. We can avoid housework. We can avoid dealing with friends and significant others. We can quit relationships which are important to us.
And, as you point out, those who believe can stop believing. However from what you write it seems apparent that you have not stopped believing. Rather you are struggling. You are going through a very bad patch. Perhaps it would be appropriate to say your belief is being severely tested. I am not suggesting that God is testing your beliefs or any one outside yourself. I am only suggesting that your beliefs are being tested by the circumstances which you face. Under other circumstances it might be easier for you to maintain your faith. Under your present circumstances it is nearly impossible.
Perhaps an analogy will help. Sometimes people lose faith in a significant other because their trust has been broken. They are hurt and even devastated but they want to preserve the relationship. I always tell the person who has been unfaithful in some way that his or her job is to be faithful. To the person who has been wronged I say his or her job is to trust their spouse or significant other once again. This is a very difficult task but if his or her goal is to maintain the relationship this is what they must do.
Of course I always think it is beneficial to get the support and guidance of a qualified professional.
I enjoyed and understand your theories on depression and anxiety, and I can see how to put them into practice - but I feel like I have already done this with my partner over a long period of time.
Unfortunately he took on the challenge of self employment with a degree of ignorance that I did not see, and 3 yrs on and I know we've only survived because of me. He must see this through to enable him to do something else with his life, and to feel a sense of achievement. At the beginning his ignorance and troubles were concealed by him 'having a good time,' and seemingly being a lazy lad in his mid-twenties (obviously not made for business) but when we moved in together, it soon became apparent that I didn't know how little he had done, and he struggled to identify what to do for the best business wise - with no budget and every excuse he had, I had a solution; what he could and needed to do, he of course did not want to do. Needless to say, I brought this up, 'I will change' has been said to me many times and it's caused most of our upsets - but I can see that he's facing depression and anxiety on a daily basis, for one reason or another, and I'm no closer to him facing his responsibilities and doing what he needs to do to pay his commitments to me, banks and ongoing rent - let alone to be happy. I want to see an attitude change - he's so pesimistic and miserable. I have tried my very best to help him, give him hope and help him visualise the bigger picture, I've brought necessary equipment, I've worked after I've finished my 9-5.30 job, I've lead by example, talked or listened to it through...
I've been holding on to hope and his words, and I listen to his issues, but I'm also clear on what I expect from him...and his lack of action makes me disappointed, let down and I feel he's putting me through unnecessary pain, but of course, not purposely. This is a well known fact in the house, so to add to his anxiety of not knowing what to do, oweing me rent, getting older (nearer 30) and still having no money, I am the younger gf who has been supporting him. For this I feel he should be grateful, but I cannot remember the last time I was truely happy. I've not had any money to do anything, even small, over the last few years, yet he has to have his socials, which seems, of course, completely unfair.
Do you have any clues to a solution, or should I have left him long ago - let him figure it out himself...? while also feeling inadequate, worthless and not knowing whether I will ever get my money back, or ever know whether it could've been different. I don't feel I can talk to anyone because of their lack of understanding..
Your initial thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
As I read your note regarding your relationship with your partner it seems that you are taking responsibility for his growth and development. I am not sure this is your responsibility. That is his responsibility. It also seems that you might be enabling him to remain irresponsible by paying for his half of the relationship. You are not responsible for his lack of change but if you are enabling him, you are responsible for that behavior.
You cannot "force" a person to grow or change. Your partner may never change. You can only make decisions that are in your best interest.
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